Very often I consult with clients who are in a relationship which is unhappy at best, and at worst is abusive emotionally and physically.
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"They are not the same person!" and "I don’t know where the person I married has gone!" I have heard statements along these lines through the whole of my career in family law. I have also during my time as a family lawyer come to understand that despite those statements, people do not tend to change during the stress of separation, their behaviour and attitudes can, and often do, become heightened.
Whenever we discuss a subject we make three non-conscious decisions: what we want to focus on; what it means to us; and what we should do to create the result we desire.
Negotiation is in reality no more than a discussion of ideas, principles, opinions, beliefs and expected outcomes, used to persuade the other person to agree with us.